...bad IDEA...

I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY MIND THAT HAVE BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR A WHILE. 

IT'S KILLING ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

OR 

WHAT NOT TO DO

OR

 WHAT SHOULD I DO.

 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BAD THING IS?? 

OH CRAP!

I'm sure that people maybe involve in this situation. They got this bad things happened yet they have no idea what to do. 

The thing is. I don't know how to deal with this situation either. I just think and over think and end up forget about it. 

And worry about it the next day, and it cycles you. :P

I believe there's a better solution just that I'm not good enough to come out with any.

Sorry. But i guess sorry is overated.

..NERVOUS..

Never thought of me being 17. I'm freaking nervous when I'm thinking about it. It's like entering a new world. Like thinking of me making my own decision. Leading my new drama life. Just thinking of it makes me feel like I'm going to die. I'm so scared. I'm not making it such a big deal or anything. But, it is a big deal. So much of drama! Being 17 is a lot of things. You don't know where things going to be smooth or you're going to have difficulties surrounding you. Not like I haven't met with any obstacles before, it's just things are different. I have no intends talking crap about this stuff but I was so nervous that i feel like typing my heart out tonight!  I guess being 17 is everything I don't want to be. I just don't feel like celebrating my birthday this 2011 year. It feels not right somehow. What should I do?? My ice cold hands are shaking. My lips trembling. My heart pounding fast. My entire body did not move the way they should. My mind is not at ease. Why is it so hard??? It's like first love come around and you don't know the right words to say. Then, you end up fooling yourself in front of the one that you thought might be something new in your life. That is sure something. I hope things will turn up just fine. I keep thinking about exams and friends and loads! I wish my worriness ends tonight.

...Memories Should Stay Memories...

Whoa. Some people complain that memories are unforgettable and how they want to get rid of them. 

But you know what?Memories are meant not to be forgotten and can't be erased. You have to believe me on this! And if you ask why. 

I'm going to say BECAUSE I SAID SO! joke.lol.

That's why they called it memory. You can't just simply forget. Even if you want to, it will haunt you down in the night dreams or when you're alone. It will come to you. And you can't avoid it but you can ignore it.

People done it all the time including myself.

I live with it. Whenever I remember those great days, a smile draws on my face. 

  My friends said things like this to me, " You have to leave the memories behind and walk out."

"Forget about him and let go". " Let's forget, things might get easier".

Gosh, people! At that time, yeah maybe it's the right things to do. FORGET AND WALK AWAY.

But then I realized, things doesn't get any better and it's incredibly hard to forget the memories!

Whatever happened happens. Things got worst when I don't know how to forget. The only thing I know is I remember how great things were back then. I don't want to forget everything. It happens once in a lifetime. You don't know when you'll be able to feel the way they make you feel.

Don't forget the memories.

I never once leave my past. I'm living with it. That's how I learn my mistakes. Memories taught me to be real. I already moved on with the memories inside of me. Somehow it keeps me alive. 

So, chill out! Thanks for the memories! :) Memories is a moment. A very special one.

- Forever memories will stay memories. -

..UltraViolet..

She is a wave and she's breaking,

She's a problem to solve;

and in that circle she's making,

I will always revolve.

And on her sight, these eyes depend,

Invisible and indivisible.

That fire you ignited,

Good,bad undecided.

Burns when I stand beside it,

You're light is Ultraviolet.

Vision so insane,

Travel unraveling through my brain,

Cold when I'm denied it,

You're light is Ultraviolet.

Now it's a phase and it's changing.

It's rotating us all.

Thought we're safe but we're dangling,

and it's too far to survive the fall.

 

I wish I could be like one who didn't do much and amaze everyone.Just like how she amazed him with her charms. That is really something! :) lmao~

 

Deal With It (-_-")

Have you ever feel that sometimes when you need to talk and you turn around and see that nobody you can talk to? 

I've been feeling that way since forever. :( yeah, yeah, yeah..poor me. But I bet I'm not the only one having this difficulties. 

So, maybe some of you might have this situation when you really want to talk about something and you feel that no one listen to you and you're end up getting bad mood all sudden and start talking to yourself. Oh well, so we might have one thing in common.

I told myself once to care less about people who care about me less. But as minutes passing by as I live with that emotion, I started to hate people. Nobody told me it was so painful to be left alone.

Doing things alone. Every part of me feel the pain. It doesn't go easy on me.

So, with the guts I have, I forget about what's killing me inside and start over again.

Only this time, I am much stronger than before. I had failed the first attempt onto trying to be what I expect myself to be. Lesson learned. 

I heard a few friends of mine talking behind my back at one night,but somehow instead of getting upset I finally smile...sarcastically, of course. *lol*. I don't care much at all. 

Emotionlessly, I just ignored all the scattered pieces and rumors about me.

Finally, things are going smooth than ever. 

Whenever I feel like talking, I'll write.

Whenever I feel like crying, I'll simply let the tears flow.

Whenever I feel alone, I'll listen to music.

Things are simple. Don't make it such a big deal.  

..Ordinary Me..

Sometimes in this life we didn't expect things to go the way we had planned it.
So, things might get hard sometimes. We fell so hard that we're almost thought of giving up. 
But we didn't. We're always thought of ways to get up and get back in track.
No matter how hard we fall, we're always Get Back!

 It's easy to say isn't it?? I can tell you how many time I failed in life or what a good failure I am.

• Disappoint my  parent with my bad tempered - attitude and being so lousy at one time.
• My grades aren't so great. It was never been good. No matter how hard i tried. No matter how hard I study my ass off. I never satisfied my parent or myself.
• I'm such an emotional-wreck. :(  people hate it.
• There's nothing I can do. I suck at almost everything. Trust me. 

Well, there's still hope. I know that for sure so yeah I keep on hoping that time passes by and I'm getting better each day. 

-enjoy your day-