Enough la, dear! that's enough.

Lol. That’s enough Athirah! What the hell’s wrong with you!!! Open your mind. Get the hell out of your shadow and be who you are. Why did you messing up the games!!! You shouldn’t have to that??! You shouldn’t be like this. It’s the end of our school’s life already. What d’ya expect????

Don’t expect too much. Don’t give too much. I thought we had this talk already???? Be more realistic! Please get yourself to the real world! You know better than me. You got to learn to let go, T! I know it wasn’t going to be easy as I talk this over but really you have to get over it!

I know you knew it. And how can you be as dumb as that??? Get yourself together. You can survive! I know you can! I have faith in you!! Come on. You’ll be just fine. Who cares anyway?? You don’t deserve *** and yet ** don’t deserve you. You don’t complete each other.

Don’t create another problem when you can’t even solve it, okay??? Just full yourself with concentrate and concentrate and concentrate. High – 5 girlfriend!

I think you can do much better than me!!!

it's just a feeling,ayy??
good luck, T!

SECRET GARDEN : movie of the year!

staring : hyun bin, ha ji won.

storyline :

hyun bin nih ank org kaya jumpe plak ngn ha ji won, seorang yg agk miskin lah. ha ji won nih perempuan eh! Ji won ni dier cm boyish cket while hyun bin nih cm jenis yg jage penampilan and everything... long story short. they exchange body after sesat kat dlm hutan. lol. tp best la tgk cter nih...

SEDEYH gler. ade scene yg mmg tgkp leleh la. try la tgk.

movie ni sgt femes kat korean. and hyun bin nih dulu berlakon cter MY LOVELY SAM SOON.

ha ji won lak berlakon cter MEMORIES OF BALI. like gler r cter nih.

ps uh utk theme song : hyun bin - that man. best. yg kt dlm blog nih sbnrnya lagu theme cter secret garden lah. tp perempuan yg nyanyi. so tjuk tuh jadi THAT WOMAN. 

sgt ske scene nih!! sweet gler!

List of homework, Islah!

1.     Nota PHYSIC  & essay

2.    CHEMISTRY

3.    BIOLOGY

4.   +MATH’ s folio

5.    ENGLISH

6.   PLBS BAT

7.    PLBS PQS

8.   PSI

9.   SEJARAH

Huh... too much eh?? Lol. Forgive me if I’m wrong, k!

Guess what, i haven’t start any hw yet. Damn it. But I will. When??

SOON ENOUGH!

interlok!

hmm.ara!

Haish... mmg tk dinafikan mmg dan mmg dan sememangnyer amat sukar utk bljr di umah! Hahah. Ramai yg tgh angguk nih tnda stuju ngn statement nih. Tp nk wat cmne an?? Mmg btol pn kan??? Believe it or not!

Tp, respect r yg mne boleh study kat umah tuh.. mmg hebat kuasa 20 r.

Aku baru mula nk start bace Interlok. Tp sekat2 lagi la. Cm dak yg baru nk pandai m’baca uh.. susah la, novel tuh tebal bebenor! Lak2 aku bkn jnis yg minat novel. Kalau novel inggeris uh bleh terime lagi... ini, sastera betol! Adeh. I’m just not born to be a malay-novel-reader. Bkn nk bongkak, riak, tkbur, ujub bagai. Tk. Tp, terimalah hakikat aku tk mampu nk habeskan novel tuh. But somehow I will try okay?!  Lagi sekali nk bgtaw... sye tk pndai berbahasa inggeris pn...jgnlah anda slh fhm plak ye. Cme sye tk minat bce novel sastera itu je. It’s not my fault, k. Mungkin salah mama yg ske bace novel BI...jd ank eh ini terikut2 jugak. Daddy, tk ske bce buku. Adek2 yg len pn sme. Kami lebih kpd majalah E-POP dan komixs! Haha... it wasn’t our fault then! Jokes2.

Biology textbook tk khatam lagi. Aduh.. cmne nih??? Chemistry tk hafal lagi???? Cmne nk wat ni?? Physic tk wat nota lagi! Ape nk jadi ngn aku nih. Tk tahu silap kat ne. Folio +math mmg lah kan??? Adeh........ J doa je lah sume kerja Berjaya dilunaskan! 

Perkampungan Ilmu 2011

PERKAMPUNGAN 27 MEI – 1 JUN 2011.

Ini kisahnya :

3 hari pertama kat sekolah, rsenya okay lagi. Time tuh dak form 3 and form 6 pn ade lagi. Jadi, asrama tk lah sunyi. Still boleh dgr ketawa riang dan gelak tawa yg memecah sunyi pd waktu mlm.

Tp, lepas drpd 3 hari tersebut.....

Tinggal la Form 5 je yg menetap di asrama. Itu pn separuh je. Tk smpai angka 70 pn yg ade kat asrama. Sgt cket. Dlm dorm plak... yg tinggal hny 2 org drpd 20 org yg asal. Ye. Memang aku takut time mlm. Tp tabahkan jugak hati ini. Nk wat cmne an?? Kne study. Cmtuh la hidup kalau nk Berjaya. Kne berani gk.

Perkampungan ilmu SHAMS...mmg letih. Sgt letih. Lak2 duk kat dewan besar yg tkde air- cond. Uih hai. Mmg panas membara. Pas uh dgn ramainya lagi. Biseng tk tntu arah nya lagi. Time tuh mmg terasa nk bg kaki je kat dk2 yg mekak uh. Dah la dtg lmbt. Ps tuh wat hal sendiri plak. Ahh mmg lah!

Hari seterusnya lepas dak form 3 da blek umah ( yay  L ) form 5 lak yg dpt gne dewan air cond tuh. Ok. Bahagia la cket.. CKET JE. So, studyla dlm keadaan yg begitu mampat dan tk leh bergerak. Sempit gler. Tp nk wat cmne kan?? Sabar jer la. Time duk kat dewan nih aku cm tk brp nk suke. La. Nth r. Cm tk leh concentrate lgsg. Mne tk eh. Haha. Sshhhshhs. Kite kite je okay. Dak2 islah yg twu, diam2 eh. Jgn terkantoi sudeh. J

Overall, okay lah . i like it. Tp rindu nk blek umah. Haha. Sbb time tuh ade cter best. Hurm. Anyway life a bit like that la kan. Tk semua yg kita inginkan baik utk diri kita. So, I think I like my life now.

DOAKAN SPM SAYA YE!!!! TQ! 11A+ . Insya-Allah.

errr..I will study better i guess?? I will!

Know why I can survive? Know why? This is because I have options. I have thousand of options. The only thing I have to do is only to choose the best out of the rest.

Instead of having a bad mood everyday and getting very emotional every night, I choose to live my life happy and having the best of my life even if you’re exclude from my life. Instead of thinking about stupid things like now, I did all my homework and studying.

Life isn’t that hard actually. I just have to choose not to deal with people like you in my life and I’ll be just fine. I don’t want to brag about it but I’m just enjoying myself.

If people don’t like me, that’s their problem not mine. I’m not born to PLEASE you, okay?

If you said that loads of peeps don’t like me... why don’t you try to evaluate yourself either way around? You think people like you that much??? We’re just the same. Don’t get so cocky and making  this thing such a huge thing!

If I could curse right in front of your damn face. I’m surely would do so. Stop talking about people.

Dude, those who you gossips about will gossip about you too.

“people who gossip will gossip about you, do not forget that.”

Anyway, anda dinasihatkan utk mengumpat, mengata, bergosip dan ape2 yg seangkatan dengannya kerana rasenya anda berhak. Mungkin anda adalah manusia yang paling baik dalam dunia ini, bukan?  Tidak mengapalah kalau begitu. Silalah tambah pahala saya dgn mengumpat dan teruskan usaha anda utk mengatakan ape2 shj.

Oh ye sebelum terlupa. Ribuan terima kasih diucapkan. Kalau perlu, ceritakanlah keburukan saya kepada semua org. Bukalah keaiban saya. Insya- Allah. Saya mampu terima tanggapan semua org terhadap saya. Kerana saya seorang yg tabah! (^_^)

Kalau tk puas hati anda juga tk perlu susah2 nk bagi2 surat2 bagai. Sumpah, tk berminat nk bce :P

Anda hanya perlu mengumpat shj. Kerana saya juga tidak mampu utk puaskan hati anda semua.

Jadi, jgn bazirkan kertas dan dakwat pen anda. Gunakan mereka pada tempat yg selayak-layak nya.

Rintihlah kepada Yang Maha Esa agar Dia menjadikan saya seorang yang lebih baik drpd sblm2 ini.

Bak kata adik dorm saya, “ Kita bukanlah Malaikat.”  Jangan sering mengungkit kesilapan org. :D

Bantu kami utk berubah. Bukan condemned kami dan memberitahu seluruh rakyat tntg mslh kami dan kamu. Mungkin lah kan, kamu mahu menambah phl kami, mungkin kan??? :P

Jelingan anda tidak mencuakkan sye bahkan menjadi bhn gelak. Jd tk perlu rsenyer nk tenung sye lame2.

Sye maafkan anda jangan risau. (^_^) mungkin kata-kata di atas menyakitkan hati. Ana Asif ye!

WHAT YOU GIVE YOU’LL GET BACK!!! OOPS! Biante!

LIKE <3

My First Cake Batik!

Very temptation!

Ahhh.. Suka suka suka! For the first time buat kek batik. Haha. Buat sorg2 taw kat dapur. Before adelah gk my aunt tolong. Tp, hari ni.. Wat sendiri. Happening r. Balek je dari Bangi terus lari masuk dapur buat kek. Love :p

ONCE BROKEN, I CANNOT BE MEND. I'M SORRY.

Fragile!

Word can’t describe how my heart crashed! Even music can’t make me feel better.

That’s how you make me. You’re the one to blame at first.

However dear, I finally realized that... If this was the end of everything we used to be then I can’t say more than that. I’m willingly to go with the wind and pretended that we never used to be one who used to support each other through bad or good times.  If this was the case, I’d rather lose this one-side kind of friendship than to pretend that we’re okay. I can pretend like I always do but I am very tired and I have given up trying to fix what’s broken. I have made my decision to just let things go and I’ll eventually will have to lose myself to and disappear from people sight and isolate myself from people who might just give me nothing but the worst. Btw, I lost your letter. I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to read but I know I’ll be heartbroken once I read it.

So far, I love myself just the way I am right now. Somehow I feel like I’m at peace and to be honest I like myself more than ever. Whatever has happened to us, there must be a reason behind all of these.

I’m sorry I cannot  give you the best as you always want but I did try, right? Now that I’ve given up of everything we were, I feel more at ease. I feel that I have nothing to be cared about other than myself. You might just think how selfish I am but you haven’t evaluate yourself either way around.

You can’t always blame people and ask for perfections’. Because I know I can’t ever be perfectionist and I’ll stay that way forever. And if I ever happen to hurt your feeling, I must say that sometimes you deserve to get hurt. Sorry to say this but you think too much of yourself. I may have lack of everything and those lies just to make you feel more worth than ever. I hate to make statement here. Sometimes, when things doesn’t run your way...don’t ever hold it and give people a damn of your attitude.

If people don’t like me for who I am and have something to say to me and talk behind my back when I believe that I have once called her FRIEND. Well, what more I can say now?? Do you think I like all of you?? I don’t. But I never told anyone a piece about it. Because I thought that people have attitude and personalities, I accept you the way you are. But if you don’t like me for who I am and change me for who I am not. You can forget about me. I like myself just like this. So, you don’t like an ass-bitch attitude. Leave me. Don’t spit a word about me. Leave and forget. That’s it.

Don’t make things like that such a big deal. Keep it to your own. If I ever heard again stuff like that breathing in the air, I’m going to mess up your life next.

Back then it was good. I do hope it lasts after all this is my last year. I want to make good memories.

I’m not an angel dear. I’m a bit mess up. 0_0 Try to be in my situation than u’ll know how it hurts and I cry every single night. THANKS TO YOU.

THaNkS for making my life bizarre.

I do miss our fun!

I'm Okay, ok!

Know what??? I’m sick of stuff clinging around my neck! So, what! Hate me all the way you want.

I don’t even damn care about it! I have my own life and you had yours. Let just move on and pretend we never knew each other, okay! I’d be glad to do so!

For the past few weeks, I’ve been so miserable and horrendously terrible. But, somehow I manage to cope with my damn feeling. I learnt that FEELING is just another distracter in my life. So, I ignore it. I care less about it and start it over.

Sometimes, I have to agree with this lyrics by Avril Lavigne.

 “ All my life I’ve been good but now, I’m thinking what the hell?”

It’s just that sometimes... There’s too many problems and I’m getting stressed out also that things doesn’t smoothly go my way...I’m fed up! Fed up with all sort of drama in my life.

Is this the life of 17 years old have to go through??? I had to laugh! Know why?

I have lead a such a childish life my own as 17 years old student who supposed to be really thinking ahead about future and THINKING LIKE AN ADULT SUPPOSED TO! Unlike what has happened for the past few weeks. It was very stupid and very unbelievable. WTH! For real, people??? But I cope fast!

I learnt to LET GO finally!!!!

When it comes to those jerks and I have to be in group with them. I just pretend that nothing really happen and be really PROFESSIONAL. I put my feeling aside and be really professional and thoughtful J That’s just me! I can be really mad at someone and hardly forgive but I can just pretend well to be just fine and get going.

After all, there’s so much in my life I have to be chased around. Why would I want to care so much about stuff that will cause me to bleed in the end? I'm okay now :P

I don't need to be comfort by one who talks behind my back. I don't need that sort of people in my life. I'm fine on my own (^_^)

Yup! millions agree!

ANDA TERBAEK.. GENERASI AS-SHAMS 2011

I enjoy so much watching this video.
Staring :

 IHSAN JOHAN – PENGERUSI BADAR SHAMS

 ALIF IMRAN – ( x pasti ape jwtn dier )

 MUHAIMIN AIDIL MUHAIMI

 KHAIRUL ANWAR

 SIDDIQ ABDULLAH – PENGERUSI MUSOLLA HIDAYAH SHAMS

 ADLI ABD MALEK

 FARHAN NORHIZAM

 AL-FATEH IBRAHIM – KETUA UMUM ASRAMA

Haha. Maaf sye gelak. Tp. Hahahahaha. Okay. Da puas. ANDA MEMANG TERBAEK!!!

Sebab kau kawan aku.

dedicated to : Whatever la Mr!!

Percayalah.. Banyak sgt nk ckp! Tapi, aku rase entah. Tk perlu rsenyer aku nk besarkan perkara ni.
In case kalau kau bace. Since tk de penjelasan lgsg drpd aku.. I'll make it clear here.


Jujur?? Ye aku amat marah. tp? Aku tk pandai nk lontarkan kemarahan aku kat kau. Lagi2 kau. Seorang kawan. Lagi la aku tk nk marah seboleh-bolehnya. Aq practice cara nk marah dpn kawan2 aku yg tawu akn mslh nih... tp skdr practice shj. practical?? Aku tk nk wat. Aku hny mampu mengeluarkan ekspresi marah melalui tindak tanduk ku. Melalui perkataan?? susah.. 


Kenapa aku tk terime???
Jwpn nyer ttp same. Sbb kau kawan. Aku tk nk terime. Aku tkut kalau aku terime.... aku... entah... anggap je lah aku tk pndai nk terime. Susah aku nk explain mende nih time kite confront. 
time tuh.. aku tk pndg kau, tk dgr pn ape kau ckp sbnrnyer.... sbb aku x mampu kawal kemarahan aku. 
Aku takut kalo time tuh aku confront ngn kau..nyawa kau mugkin jadi taruhan. Jadi, aku xnk dgr ape2 time tuh. Aku mungkin akn bertindak di luar kawalan. Mungkin perkara yg kau tk pernah dgr aku ckp.. mungkin time tuh kalau aku confront kau akn dgr mcm2. 
Aq x nk mende cmtuh berlaku. Lagi2 kau kawan aku.
Semuanya sbb aku fikir kau kawan aku.


Benda itu....?
Amat berharga. Aku sgt sgt sgt syg mende tuh. Teramat. tp sebab kau kawan. Aku lg rela rosak mende tuh drpd aku maki2 kawan2 sendiri. 
Biarlah kene marah skali pn, aku hny terdiam. tk mampu. nk melawan. diam adlh lebih baek.
Menangis mengurangkan tekanan.
Bile kne tny : cmne boleh jd cmnih????
jawab aku : Mende da nk jd... we can always fix it kan?? 
then she said : we?? YOU have to fix this. I don't care how u're going to do but I give u only a month to fix.... Make it work like it was before.
DOOMEEEDD!
I'm feeling sick! How?????? 
Till now.. mende tuh tk fix lagi.
I don't know how.


ape yg aku rase??????
aku tk rse kau rse bersalah. itu je. I just dont want to make thing worse for both us. So, x nk involve kan kau kat dlm probs nih.
Mungkin juga slh aku?? mungkin kan???
I'm the one should be blame.
kdg2 bile pkir scr kejam.... bukan slh aku! asl aku lak kne pkir mende nih! 
tp... bile rational nyer...
Lupakan je. Cari penyelesaian bkn masalah.


Kau rase bersalah tp entah lah weyh.. I dont see your sincerity. I just don't!
Maaf?? Mudahnya......
kejam kan kalau aku ckp cmtuh.
Jadi kau mintk maaf... Yes aku maafkan. Itu yg kau nk dgr kan? 
Aku tk lyn time tuh. sb?? sakit sgt hati. 


Ni jer aku nk ckp. THANKS. 
Bygkan kalau kau yg berada kat tmpat aku. Org mintak maaf scr acuh tk acuh. Bersalah tp cm xde pape yg berlaku?? 

                                          _mangsa keadaan_
                                                                                    athirah
I'll make sure you pay for what u have done,
not threatening you.
just killing you inside.

why?

Three Leafed Clover!

Best sgt cter nih!! Staring Lee Hyo Ri.

Part yg paling best kat dlm cter nih bile....

“ Mencintai seseorang bukanlah ketika kita berasa lega dan gembira ketika dia bersama kita tp ketika kita rasa sakit hati apabila kita bersama dia dan tidak mampu membantu dia.. Itu yg sye rase sekarang. Mungkin cinta saya pd awk terlalu lama sehingga kan sye rase sye tk perlu risau akn kehilangan awk tp sebenarnya itu bukan cinta. Apabila saya bangun dr tidur sye hny memikirkan betapa pedihnya hati ini bile memikirkan saat bersamanya dan takut dia akn hilang drpd pndgn saya w/pn dia tk pernah sedar akn kewujudan sye di sini. Tp itulah cinta. Cinta membuatkan sye berubah... dia mengubah saya. Sye berasa sakit ati bile berada dekatnya dan mendengar keluhannya w/pn dier tersenyum mengatakan ,’semuanya baik’.”

Pastu fiancée dier ckp :

Kalau awk tinggalkan sye, awk yakin dia akn pergi kepada awk?

Se hyung terdiam.

Erk........soklan eh.. Maut betul!

Tp best. Sgt. Yg penting ade 2 hero. Dua2 hensem. Bkn cute okay!!

Ade part yg sedih sgt. Memang feeling abes la! *touching*

Se Hyung, Yeon Hee, Jina, Sung Woo
from left to right.

DREAM HIGH ! FLY HIGH !

I dream high, I have a dream

When its gets hard I close my eyes

 And while replaying the moments my dream comes true

I get up and keep on going

 I shake in the face of fear today as well like a young bird that’s afraid to fly in fear of falling down

 I keep on asking whether I can do this,

Whether my dream can come true

 Whatever I make a, step by step, the fear comes back

 I dream high,

I have a dream

When it gets hard i close my eyes

And while replaying the moment my dreams come true

 I get up and keep on going.

 I can fly high,

I believe that one day that i will spread my wings and fly up into that sky higher than anyone before I need courage to help me get up

 The courage which would make me jump up again, after brushing the dust off

Believing in myself and in my destiny once again...

Risking everything i will jump over the wall higher than my self...

Dream high,

A chance to fly high

 From now to all the pain bye bye.

Try and fly as high as those stars in the sky.

.watch your dreams unfold,

  Time for u to shine it's the start,gotta make em'mine

Don’t be afraid of building your own future...

Walk on confidently with all your might

Destiny is your fate.

 Unstoppable destiny is now spreading in fronts of us........

This is a whole new fantasy for u, so just take my hand...

Our goal now is the same.

Don't give up on your dream and future

 Everyone here with youthful passion..

DREAM HIGH!!!

dream high ! fly high!

255-503-649

A : hi, it’s been a while.

B: yeah.

A: so, there’s a purpose why I’m here.

B: sure.

A: well, you see. I don’t know how to put it together. The thing is I...

B: how are you?

A: just okay. You?

B: so-so. How’s everything with you??

A: me? It would be a lie if I say everything’s okay. But, everything will be fine. I know...

.............................................................................................................................................................

 Eventhough, things aren’t just like the past. Both of us had moved on and leave all the scattered pieces behind. We’re leading the life we always dreamed of separately, of course.

Obviously, everything should be just fine, ayy? I know you’ll be fine. I know you should be very fine. Why wouldn’t you?

IT’S A CLOSURE.

IF YOU ARE DOING OKAY,

WHY WOULDN’T I BE OKAY?

I SHOULD BE OKAY AS WELL.

MAYBE THIS IS THE LAST STROLL,

I REALLY DON’T WANT TO CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE.

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE UPDATED NEWS ABOUT YOU NO MORE.

I’M JUST HAPPEN TO REALLY MOVE ON.

I DON’T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME TO BE THINKING ABOUT YOU.

YOU’RE NOT MY TYPE.

I’M NOT YOUR TYPE.

FAIR ENOUGH.

AS FAR AS I’M CONCERN.

you're only a half chapter in my life.

Why?

Kenapa ye aku alami satu sindrom di mana aku hanya mampu menahan marah dan tidak mampu mengeluarkan marah tersebut dlm diri ni eh? Biarlah mcm mne teruk pun org memperlakukan aku, kemarahan itu hanya smpai di tekak je. Tk mampu dikeluarkan. Tapi kadang2 bila da lame simpan ataupun bile da tk mampu menahan marah, aku hanya mengeluarkan air mata. Tanda aku sudah tidak mampu bertahan. Aku hairan. Tk tahu sejak bile jd cmni. Susah sgt nk marah kat org. Marah tu marah tp sampai ari tu je lah. Esok tu dah okay sikit. Kenapa ye? Aku tahu aku seorang yg agk pns baran. Aku akui. Tp, sikap tu da ilang lately.

Jadi, perkara ini telah menyukarkan sedikit sebanyak dlm kehidupan aku seharian. Kenapa? Kerana, org akn sentiasa memperlekehkan aku tnp memikirkan perasaan aku. Adakala boleh bergurau. Tp, jgn sampai menyakiti hati org laen. Bergurau yg bese2 sudah lah. Tk perlu extereme2 sgt. Mungkin disebabkan aku sgt sensitive, jd aku memilih utk bersendirian. Melalui itu, aku akn kurg disakiti. Lagipun, aim aku adalah 11 A+ SPM and my goal is to achieve what I aimed. Let’s just forget. I know myself better than anyone else.

I don't know

Berikan ku kekuatan, Ya Allah.

اللهم إني أسألك حبك وحب من يحبك وحب ما يقرني إليك وأدخلني الجنة مع الحب

Ya Allah, aku memohon kecintaanMU, kecintaan orang yang sentiasa mencintaiMU, kecintaan apa sahaja mendekatkan diriku kepadaMU, dan masukkanlah aku ke syurga bersama-sama kecintaan itu..

Hanya itu yang menjadikan aku seorang yang masih mampu mengawal perasaan ini. 

Semoga Allah merahmati kehidupanku serta memberkati diriku ini. Jauhilah aku daripada perkara yang melalaikan, ya Rahman. Hidupkanlah aku dgn cahaya Islam. Ya Rahim, perindahkanlah akhlakku, Lembutkan tutur bicaraku, Tenangkan hatiku dan Jangan Kau bebani aku dgn bebanan yg tidak mampu ku pikul. Makbulkanlah doaku.